Etter at jeg i natt bevitnet hva som i enhver annen debattsammenheng ville vært å betrakte som den totale skandale, men som i Donald Trumps tilfelle ansees som oppsiktsvekkende bra, er hans tid som USAs president etter alt å dømme passé. Det eneste som vel kunne hatt en ørliten mulighet for å redde ham slik det ser ut nå, ville vært den følgende talen som jeg har skrevet for ham. – En tale hvor alle kort legges på bordet, og vi henvender oss til de morbide i tillegg til de rikeste og aller dummeste..
Nå som løgnene er avslørt liksom hans sanne, i beste fall ‘kun’ narsissistiske ‘jeg’, ligger det eneste ørlille håp om gjenvalg så langt jeg kan se, i å appellere til hans likesinnede i tillegg til de aller dummeste. Dette lyder så visst som en så alt for smal gruppe, men jeg er redd den kan vise seg være langt større enn en tror, så..
** Talen er selvsagt på engelsk, da det tross alt dreier seg om en henvendelse til Amerikas idioter..
Dear America..
I’m standing here in front of you today, in all my orange glory, because I’ve realized I’m pretty much doomed. The only way I can possibly get re-elected, is through a complete honesty. – Which will be extremly difficult for me, as the one approach I’ve never done before..
Well, where do I start.. You’re all familiar with my capabilities of lying by now, so there’s nothing left to say about that.. What you may not have noticed, on the other hand (ehh.. probably not, I suppose, considering I’m addressing my own potential voters..), is that the limit to my ability to lie was revealed in the previous debate (you know, the one where I got diagnosed with COVID straight after making a complete ass of myself..) with vise-president, Joe Biden. You all could see me, as I was being nagged about that ‘black lives matter’ -crap, and they went on and on about me taking a stand against the white supremacy going on.. I tried, oh, God knows I tried to satisfy y’all by delivering a convincing, beautiful lie about being all for equality for all citizents of the US.. – You could see that, right!? – And I couldn’t! You saw I just couldn’t, – that I was completely incapable to deny the rightness to those in favor of white supremacy, didn’t you!?..
Instead of saying what y’all know I should have said for the posibility to get re-elected, I told my people to wait until after the election through the statement ‘Stand back, and stand by’. For some strange reason, my opponents (those stupid motherfuckers) managed to express doubt as to what I meant by that! (haha) – That’s funny.. That’s so, very funny…
Then we’ve got that bloody virus that keeps being brought up.. That Chinese virus, the Coronavirus.. Which is, when truth’s to be told, a blessing, through its ability to free this country for a lot of the colored, less fortunate human crap populating this country. China is to blame, -hail China! With that being said.. You should have come up with something better when you were at it.. 220 000 deaths in a country like ours, where a significant part of the population is denied access to medical care because of powerty, is too damn few.. It should have been more, -a million, – two millions, -I don’t know.. But the death rate that we’ve got, is too small.. Way too little… You sure should have done a better job on that one, China! I know I would..
I won’t bore you by telling the truth to every lie I’ve told over the past 4 yrs. Most of them are reveiled, and the rest should be obvious to everyone.. I’ll therefor just summarize to y’all the truth of what to expect by providing me with another 4 yrs in the white house:
– The white supremacy will be taken to another level! I’ll make sure our police force fulfills its responsibility of cleaning the streets of as many people of color as they possibly can!
– The COVID’s being allowed to keep it’s course towards a less populated America!
– The ritchest are gonna be even richer through removing their taxes all together! – Witch, obviously will make the poorest even poorer, along with everybody else, for that matter.
– Imigration will be limited to milky white and utterly wealthy Norwegians (ethnic Norwegians, that is).. They’re beautiful people.. Beautiful white people who’s presens will make the US the most beautiful country in the world.. (Just as my German role-models Adolf and Heinrich brought to our awareness back in the 30’s)..
– Our allies will get kicked to the curve, so that I’ll be free to live out the dream of good, old Adolf.. – He never got the nuclear park needed to fulfill his dream back in the 40’s. I’ll live it out for him, as I’ve sure got both the arsenal- and the enemies needed in order to get a 3 world war rolling! Where to aim that 1st bomb, I’m not sure of yet, but I’ll sure figure it out!Finally, I need to point out that we’re already fucked.. Our nation is fucked beyond repair, -you know that, right!? It doesn’t matter what Joe Biden, ‘Crocked Hillary’, or anybody else for that matter does at this point.. With that in mind, do I offer you the unique ability to see how crazy things can possibly get! There’s no hope of improvement, as fucked up as our country of today.. So why not make sure to go down with a laughter, laughing your asses of about how stupid one can possibly get!? Wouldn’t that be great! Doesn’t that sound great!? I know that’d be sooo great!.. – So so great…
Thanks so much for listening! You’re good people.. – Good, beautiful people.. ‘God bless’, and fuck off!
Sincerely Your President,
Donald J. Trump.